Okay, Sorta Photo by Roberto Valdivia on Unsplash Yes, I’m Colombian. And when people find out I’m...
I Have Never Smoked Weed
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Funny
Going Commando with a Stained Apron
Broccoli, Baked Mayo, and the Breaking Points of Parenthood Photo by Pickled Stardust on Unsplash...
Okay, Take Two. And a Humble Brag.
Formally Announcing Unequivocally Ambiguous My wife, Justine, and our oldest daughter, Jovie, went...
Please, Stop!!!!
It’s not earwax, your kids just don’t want to hear it. Please, stop!!!!! I shouted at the...
A Post-Pandemic Matisse Pastoral
Of the Norovirus and Other Joys of Pietri Dish Parenting “I’d rather die on my feet than live on...
Buying Sushi in Dublin at Three in the Morning
I was in Dublin this last summer, and if you think Ireland is super Duper white, then you would be...
A Loogie on the Face
Fernando Londono was addressing Colombia’s congress when a Senator stood up, upset by the...
Video Performance: The Hair Brushing Vortex
I performed this story at the West Side Stories in Petaluma. It's based on an essay I wrote and...
You will never poop in peace again
I have only pulled my pants up without wiping once in my life. It was because I felt the big one...
The Stories We Tell To Help You Part With Your Money
Twice a year, the insurance company I worked for would get all its salespeople together to receive...
The phantom limb sensation of a $100 bill I’ve never owned
"People don't really want to be rich," I told myself as I looked around the empty conference room...
Money-Making Seminars Promised Me the American Dream
The stranger made a beeline toward my wife and me through the sea of Christmas shoppers drowning...
Recent Articles
Buying Homemade Greek Yogurt Through a Door Window
The Lengths We Covered in Barranquilla to Get Quality Bacillus Bulgaricus. Photo by Yasin Hoşgör on Unsplash If my dad drove fast enough as he was going up the hill, when he came on the other side,...
The Struggles of Teaching Your Kids a Second Language
Solving the conundrum of existence with Spanish, bad words, and Catholic guilt One of Descartes’ more important philosophical contributions was answering the quintessential question of existence or:...
Dealing With the Police and My Mom’s Lack of Patience
Pyramid-Selling Cures for Cancer and Swimming in the Shallow I felt the cold water gliding through my body as I stroked toward the open ocean from San Diego’s beach. But a sound distracted me. It...